Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
