Taylor Swift is so right about you.
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
