I only kidnapped one of them. chill
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
