You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Randomize
