You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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