i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
