A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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