we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Randomize
