It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
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