Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
only you would photoshop your dick
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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