Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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