I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize
