definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Randomize
