YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
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