I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
Randomize
