Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
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