Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize
