my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
