? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
