no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Randomize
