peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
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