Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
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