It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Randomize
