I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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