To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
