please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
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