That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Randomize
