yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
