well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Randomize
