honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Randomize
