Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
