My sheets look like a crime scene.
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Randomize
