Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
