You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
