someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Randomize
