he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
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