you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Randomize
