i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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