He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
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