What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
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