four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
