Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
