He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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