She's JV to your varsity
Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Randomize
