Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
Randomize
