roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
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