bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Your cock deserves a montage
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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