So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
