okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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