honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
Randomize
