while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
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