Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Randomize
