This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
